This is what your brain looks like when your wallet gets lifted out of your purse. In retrospect, I know when and where it happened. Retrospect is great but it doesn't make you feel any better. I had taken my MetroCard out to get into the subway...and put it back... On my way down on the escalator there was a man very intent on passing me on the single person escalator, and he did pass me while bumping into me about 3 times.
I had a wad of cash because I was going to get my hair cut and they only take cash....don't ask, don't tell or something like that. When I went to pay, there was no wallet, and since I knew I had it earlier, I knew it was G - O - N- E. Dammit!!
SO there is a drill.
- Call the bank and AmEx and discover that you won't have any cards for 3 to 7 days.
- Cancel the credit cards
- Cancel the debit card
- Try to remember the number of the one blank check and give up.
- Realize that you are currently on 56th street, you live on 181st street and you have exactly $0 and 0 cents.
- Count blocks....25 short blocks to a mile
- 181 - 56 = 125
- 25 short blocks to a mile - give or take - means a 5 mile hike.
- You are not the Yarn Harlot. You KNOW that you aren't doing 5 miles in those shoes even if there isn't any snow on the ground.
- Realize that you also owe your hairdresser the astronomical sum that was in the late lamented wallet to pay for the haircut.
- And then there are the tips.
- Call the bank again. They suggest you go to a branch and see if they will, out of the goodness of their hearts, give you some of your money since you can't prove who you are.
- Go out and hunt up a bank.
- Beg
- Give them a business card to prove who you are.
- It happens to be a MOO card with a picture of the GWB on it. Tell them that is where you live.
- Remember your mother's maiden name, your office phone number - since you don't exactly have an office this is an exercise in creativity - and the town you were born in.
- Assure them that you don't think that it is anywhere in your purse.
- Offer to let THEM look in your purse for it.
- Sign your name so they can compare it to the one on the screen.
- They reluctantly agree to let you have some of your money.
- For some reason, be overcome with humility and don't ask for very much money
- Return and pay for the haircut and tip
- Walk outside and kick yourself because you now have $10 and you have to spend $2 of that on the MTA.
- Also in your wallet, your MetroCard with $32 left on it.
- Realize how much humility sucks
- Get a $2 MetroCard and go home.
- Remember that your wallet contained --
- Your ZipCar card
- Your insurance card
- Your Driver's License
- Your Spring Studio Session card
- Your NYPublic Library card
Realize that there is probably a bunch of other stuff in there that you can't remember. Think briefly about the Motor Vehicle Bureau. Sigh.
Think about trying to convince a local bank tomorrow that you are who you say you are with your expired Passport (don't ask.. there was that big crush last year and I just couldn't cope) so you can get a little more of your own money.
Drink a beer.
Sigh a lot.
And know that you know what that guy looked like, so he better be looking out for me.
1 comment:
Ack, Jordi....just catching up with the horror story of wht's happened.
Hope that all is being sorted/already sorted.
Will continue reading and hope that I get to hear some better news....
Gill x
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